April 7, 2015 10:46pm
help me, please.
help me burn this memory of us that resides in my soul.
hurt me. beat me. bruise me.
give me another sense of pain to distract me from what devours me within.
bathe me. caress me. love me.
oh please, just love me again.
Cuddle with me. Text me all day. Fall asleep next to me and wake up beside me. Finish my sentences. Compliment me. Study me. Learn my habits: what makes me happy or what pisses me off. Surprise me. Stay up late with me. Fall in love with me.
like really kissed. not a meaningless kiss, kiss me like you’re in love with me. hold my face in your hands and kiss me as slowly as possible. be gentle and lick my lips, run your hands through my hair, make me forget everything that’s happening around me. make me want every part of you and make me feel like you want all of me. kiss me like you want me.
But I don’t want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your neighbor this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like the letter S on your palm. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother’s house that one summer. Call me when I’m half asleep and tell me why you fear owls . Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Tell me about your friends’ childhood funny stories, tell me about the little girl who used to annoy you when you were kids. Text me at 4 AM to tell me about the dream that woke you up , come at my door to show me your writings . Talk to me about your wildest dreams that you feel embarrassed to share with anyone Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I’ll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don’t want someone who just talks about the weather.
Pull my hair.
Press me back against the wall.
Slam me against it.
Bite my bottom lip until I cry out and let me do the same to you.
Take your frustration out on me.
Let me feel it in the way you kiss my lips.
In the way you grip my hips.
Ravish me.
Cherish me.
Let me feel your love.
Cry with me. Cry on my shoulder. Or cry with me in bed. Tell me what’s going through your mind. Tell me when it’s about suicide, and tell me when you’re okay again 1 minute later. Tell me about the person who broke you, and tell me about everything that made you hurt yourself. I’ll be there. I’ll listen. I’ll care.
But I don’t want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your sister this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like Europe on the left side of your neck. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother’s house that one summer. Call me when I’m half asleep and tell me why you believe in God. Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I’ll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don’t want someone who just talks about the weather.
My mother warned me about cigarettes that could cause cancer
But she never told me that self-hatred can grow faster than any tumour ever couldMy father warned me that I should never stop thinking
But he never told me that overthinking would kill my happinessMy sister warned me about other people who might make hurtful comments about me
But she never told me that instead of hearing someone else’s voice, I’d hear my ownMy brother warned me about drugs in baggies sold on the street,
But he never told me about the ones that people put in your glass when you’re not lookingMy grandmother warned me about the devil with his tail and red horns
But she never told me about his angelic smile and dark, ocean blue eyesMy grandfather warned me about booze that could kill
But he never told me that if you drink enough alcohol, it tastes like loveMy cousin warned me that I should lose my virginity to a guy I love
But she never told me he should love me, tooMy aunt warned me that if I kept eating that much, I might vomit
But she never told me that even without eating anything, you can hang over the toilet and pukeMy baby sitter warned me that a boy could break my heart
But she never told me that if I made him mad, he’d also break my arm and noseMy teacher warned me about dangerous men with knives that could cut my throat
But she never told me that I didn’t need these men to cut my skinThey all warned me that I shouldn’t do dangerous things that could kill me
But I never had the chance to ask them if slitting both of my wrists vertically
And taking thirty-eight aspirins, was one of these dangerous things
Every time you talk to me, the voices in my head go quiet, it’s like they disappear. I feel calm, I feel good, I feel whole. It’s like you heal me. When you disappear, the demons are back, louder than ever. And people think that you are good for me, that you can help me. What they don’t know is that you do it for yourself and not for me, that you are the demon, that you are one of them. I wish they knew that you help me because it makes you feel like a hero, like a good person, it makes you feel important. It makes you feel in control and powerful. It makes you feel good to save a lost cause. I wish they knew that all you are doing is feeding yourself on my blood, my soul. I wish they knew that when they were painting a hero, they forgot that he had a mask on. I wish they knew they actually saw you, you are the villain you are.
Things that will make me fall for you:
wnq-writers
But I don’t want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your neighbor this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like the letter S on your palm. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother’s house that one summer. Call me when I’m half asleep and tell me why you fear owls . Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Tell me about your friends’ childhood funny stories, tell me about the little girl who used to annoy you when you were kids. Text me at 4 AM to tell me about the dream that woke you up , come at my door to show me your writings . Talk to me about your wildest dreams that you feel embarrassed to share with anyone Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I’ll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don’t want someone who just talks about the weather.
